Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
