I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
