All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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