booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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