mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
