But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she peed on how many people?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
