Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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