Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
