Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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