before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
