i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
