I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
