You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
40s are totally the cure
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
