tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
