just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
accomplished twins. life is a go
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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