well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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