So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
