and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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