Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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