The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
