I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
