He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
