How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
