people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
