YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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