Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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