Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
