using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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