So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
