what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
