i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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