you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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