party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
