wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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