Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize