It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
