I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
