i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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