She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
