so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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