I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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