My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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