Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
