He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
