the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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