We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
