You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
