I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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