felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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