no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
