i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
