I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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