This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
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