Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize