I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
