If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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