i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
