I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
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I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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