I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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